God will find you out.

Yesterday and today I have come to realize one thing.. God will find you out. No matter how much you try to sweep the hidden stuff under that rug of yours, He will always be the kind God He is and bring it out for you to deal with.  It hurts at first, but "there is beauty in the breakdown" -Frou Frou. 

The miscarriage of our daughter Lily, has been the single most hard thing I've ever been through. I've realized I often sweep the stuff from the miscarriage under my rug. I don't want to deal with it.. I often think about it and I am immobilized, unable to do daily life.  

Yesterday I played worship at a church in Reynoldsburg, Ohio, and a woman (also named Heather) came up to me with a word that hit me right in the gut. She said "I looked at you and saw the word baby.. and felt like it had lots of meanings for you.." When she said that I said "Yep that is for me! Me and my husband recently lost our baby and I just found out my sister is pregnant and it has been difficult to see her be pregnant even though I am truly happy for her at the same time." When she prayed for me I just kept thinking about how AMAZING God is. I was carrying this huge weight on my shoulders and He graciously took it from me. He is such a good God who sees us in our suffering even when we don't want to see it.

Then, today a kind woman told me a beautiful encouragement. She said my baby is with Jesus in heaven as is her babies that she lost. She teared up as she talked, and I was again amazed how God spoke to me yet again through someone I was just randomly talking to. God wants to see us healed and whole and to talk to Him about what we are dealing with. He HONESTLY cares..

I am amazed.

H e a t h e r