Nov 6- Hardest Days yet..

**Faint at heart beware of reading*
Yesterday was the hardest day yet... It began with violently throwing up and ended worse.

I woke up yesterday morning and started getting ready for my doc appointment at 8:45am and somewhere in between putting moose in my hair and washing my hands I started throwing up (mostly those painful dry heaves where nothing comes out but you can't stop). Shaking.. I continued getting ready, rolls of tears coming down my face.

We went to the doc and got to meet DR. Parker! I'd only been talking to his FANTASTIC nurse Kathleen through all of my troubles, but it was nice to meet him in person. He was soo nice. He asked me a bunch of questions about how I was feeling (I was holding tight to my pink puke bucket while we talked! haha) and he asked if the Zofran was working to which I replied "Not at all, I threw up before I got here actually." He told me that he wanted to do some blood tests to see if there were any issues with my thyroid or anything like that. He also said he wanted to send me to St. Ann's right away to get some IV fluids.

Me and Brett headed to St. Ann's at 10am and Mary Beth a sweet, sweet nurse hooked me up to an IV, with a little bit of trouble finding my veins. OUCH. It was a long experience but quite pleasant to my surprise because I had some really nice people looking after me! They also gave me some Zofran through the IV and it helped soo much! I didn't feel sick for the first time in a long time. But after a while it started to wear off so they gave me phenergan. When they gave me Phenergan, I got extremely tired REALLY fast. I could hardly walk out of their and almost fainted on Brett! It was kind of comical..

I got home and slept for a good 3 hours. When i woke up I realized I hadn't eaten all day, so Brett make us some Breakfast/Dinner. I ate it and felt decent. My stomach was kind of turning though with some cramping, but I just figured things were just moving around. I ate some raspberries and sunflower seeds, and shortly after that I ran to the bathroom, stomach wrenching and I went to the bathroom (#2) for the first time in I don't know how long. I felt accomplished, until I felt like throwing up.. I threw up all my dinner and sat there praying in between vomiting "God give me strength!..... I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!..... You are my refuge....." Doing this gave me a strange amount of peace in my pain. I continued to do this 6 more times minus the puking, but the pain was horrible. I got a small glimpse of what it might feel like to be a chemo patient. Weak as a rag I went back out to lay on the couch and shortly after go to bed. I felt queasy when i went to bed, but I tried not to think about it..

I woke up at 9am to a phone call from my nurse Kathleen. She asked who I felt yesterday and I told her about my ordeal. She said I am soo sorry and said she would tell Dr. Parker. I got a phone call not too much longer later from her again and she said she talked to Dr. Parker and she told me they want to do some at home medicine treatments through an IV, since it seemed to help at the Hospital. I just spoke with them and they are going to try Reglan this time. I am scared, but kind of glad they are doing it. I just can't keep the pills down.. I can't eat or drink much either.

Pray for me in this time. I feel like I am so weak that my body can't take much more. I just want to be healthy not only for me but for my baby. I feel so helpless. I am praying for protection of my little one.

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