Adventures with Heather Evans

I had my 14 week Check in with the doc today, and it went really well!

The nurse looked at me and said, "You look like you are feeling better!" and I said, "Yes! Finally!" I stepped on the scale and let out a "Horraaayy!" when I saw that I gained 3 pounds and the nurse said "good job!". I told her it probably has something to do with the Lasagna kick I've been on these past couple days! :)

We heard our baby's heartbeat again and that was neat! Just to know everything is continuing as normal, even though my situation hasn't exactly been normal, is REALLY comforting. I told Dr. Parker I've been able to eat a lot more (lots of lasagna) and haven't been as nauseated as before, especially since I've been taking the benadryl. He told me it was really good to see me putting on weight. He also told me since I am feeling better, he wants to start weaning me off the zofran medicine pump!! And I said "YAY!"

How exciting is that??!! No more needles, syringes, wires, band aids, bruises, pain and knots! I can finally feel like a normal pregnant person, and not like a sicko outcast. Not saying anyone ever said anything to me, but it is awkward when people stare at the tubes coming out of you and the medicine pump.. it just makes you want to hide! It will be so nice to not have to deal with all of that soon. :)

After the doctors appointment me and Brett made a stop at Taco Bell. Mmmmm, double decker taco's are inspirational! Another happy moment of being able to EAT and not feel sick.. I never thought it would be possible!

Let me just tell you.. this week has been a good one! It's the little things you know? Like Hanging out with Alicia and Brett for a Lord of the Rings and Eggs Benedict morning, Cassie coming to cut my hair and chat (the hair cut has given me some much needed confidence!), Going to starbucks to hang out with the Youth Ministry peeps to celebrate Chris Traut's term as Youth Pastor, reading blogs written by friends like Jenny Sigler and getting pumped up to be a mom :) and talking to my best buddy Emily for an hour about life! ALSO! Beth and Nick Fancher had their baby Jack yesterday, and I was just happy all day! I am so glad I am feeling better for Christmas too! Even though I am not 100% I feel like I will be able to enjoy it much better than I would have 2 weeks ago even!

In other random news, I got my first maternity pants from Gap Maternity (with a gift card) and they are fabulous!

Plus, only 1 more appointment until I find out if it is a Boy or a Girl!

Possible Boy name (thought of by Brett): TRUST - (cuz we've had to Trust God a lot!)
Possible Girl name (also thought of by Brett): IVY -(our fave character in the Village, the blind girl with red curly hair, she is amazing!)

Basically I suck at picking out names, but it's okay because Brett is really creative and good at it! :)

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I wrote this after our miscarriage of Lily, our daughter..

"I'll put hope in a bottle
and throw it out to sea, to sea
and maybe one day it
will come back to me, to me"

The poem is about the hope of having a child, and trusting that we would have the opportunity again. And sure enough here we are 13 WEEKS pregnant with great hope. Isn't it interesting how God redeems?

Death stings to the core, but there is such JOY in new life.

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Lots of people are asking me how my appointment went yesterday (thank you for asking it makes me happy!), so I thought I'd write it here! :)

I was feeling really sick by the time we got in to see the doctor (which was actually good so I could tell him how I was feeling) because it was beginning to be afternoon. Afternoon is when my body decides it doesn't like being pregnant and makes me super sick! I was eating animal crackers when the doctor came in. he-he.

We talked about how I was feeling and he said that we should wait until I feel a little bit better before I'm weaned off the meds. (thank the Lord) He also said to take Benadryl because it has something in it that helps nausea/motion sickness. (I looked it up online and it is legit) It seems to help take the edge off for sure. He also took me off of Progesterone supplements and said that may help me feel better too.

He also did the little sound monitor to hear the heartbeat, and sure enough as soon as he put it on my belly the heartbeat was just beating away! That was the first time we've actually HEARD the heartbeat and I got quite emotional! It was soo neat!

I am going back again in 2 weeks just to make sure everything is still going well. They just want to stay on top of everything.

Brett drove me to our appointment while he went to work, but before that he got me some goodies at Giant Eagle. I was all worked up and excited and sick after our appointment that I was gagging in the Giant Eagle parking lot! I ate some pretzels, and listened to some Phil Wickham. Ahhhh... Peace. I listened to the song "Beautiful" and had STREAMS of tears running down my face! Tears of joy and thankfulness. It made all of my worries disappear. That no matter what I go through I can do it with Gods help. :)

My amazing conversation with Alicia from the morning also came flooding back and it was a great time of reflection and praise. I was reminded how BLESSED I am. How people like Alicia have encouraged me to keep going and have loved me despite my constant moaning! :)

I still need help/prayer, but I am keeping my eyes on the prize!!! My baby!!! I can't wait to meet my little sweetie. So we wait!

p.s. My mom is still in the hospital and does have infection from the appendix being removed. She has a fever, but they are watching her closely. She might come home today if her fever goes down! Keep praying for her!

BEAUTIFUL- Phil Wickham
"I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You’re beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It’s all proclaiming who You are
You’re beautiful, You're beautiful

I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You’re beautiful, you're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful

I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, I see Your face
I see Your face, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful"

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"So, let go, let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown" Frou Frou

Yesterday started out like a normal day.

Me and mom were chatting it up about cool things happening at the youth group, and brainstorming about the future. You see she's been filling in for me as intern while I've been sick. Just another reason why she is Super-Mom.

She started not feeling so good after eating some smelly turkey and I teased her that that was why she was feeling sick. She kept getting worse as the minutes ticked on. Her abdomen started hurting really bad and I said "dad, should you take mom to the ER to get her checked out?" and he said "Yeah I think we are going to go now." and turned to my mom and said, "What about Berger?" Thinking my dad was asking if she wanted a cheese burger, she daid "No! I don't want a Burger!" In all reality dad was talking about the hospital in Circleville, Berger Hospital! ha!

My dad kept me up to date with Texts. She got a CAT scan and they determined the pain was coming from her halfway removed appendix. She had gotten in removed in 7th grade when surgical proceedures weren't as up to date as they are now and they didn't get all of it. I guess it had swollen up to be the size of an actual appendix my dad said.

They did emergency surgery that night and I was just a mess not being able to be there. I talked to my sister Amy and texted some people to pray. I was feeling REALLY sick too. The more worked up I got the sicker I felt. I ended up throwing up at one point and I haven't thrown up in a while.

I was kneeling by my bed while throwing up, so I took the opportunity to talk to God. I prayed "God be by my mom's bedside tonight. Be with the doctors." It was all I had, but I knew God understood. :)

It feels like I am in the "Breakdown" mode right now. I have been numb for so long just dealing with sickness from day to day but when something like this happens, it knocks the wind out of you. I am looking for the beauty in all of this today. My 12 week appointment is at 10:50 so I'm sure I'll find some there. :)

In the Meantime, Pray for my mom and for my family today. We all need it. We all are feeling a little beat up and broken down.

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I had a doctor appointment today! It was a mixture of emotions let me tell you what!!

I was REALLY quiet (and a little moody *sorry Brett*) in the car on the way up to the appointment. I was praying and thinking and contemplating a lot of things. It hasn't been an easy road and I was just hoping that I would hear the heart beat of our baby and that everything would be okay.

We got there (my mom came too!) and I was still feeling quiet. Doctor Parker came in the room and commented on my lovely designer medical bag (hehe) and it made me laugh and loosen up a bit. I asked him some questions and he was REALLY helpful!

Then it came to see if there was a heart beat and I started to sweat. He was searching for a heart beat for what seemed like FOREVER. I don't know how long it really was but it seemed like a long time. Everyone was so quiet and I was sweating and holding back tears. He pulled me up and said "I think I heard the heart beat a couple times, but lets do a quick ultra sound just to make sure." With a deer in the headlights kind of look on my face, we proceeded to the ultra sound room. Brett and mom at the perfect moment told me "everything is going to be okay, don't worry"

Tears in my eyes, Dr. Parker did the Ultra sound and I didn't see anything at first, and the the most spectacular thing happened! We saw the shape of a little baby "dancing" and swimming and squirming all around! I started to laugh/cry when I saw it! (I wish I had a video! It was amazing!) Dr. Parker said, "Welp, looks like the heart beat is just fine! Your baby is moving around like crazy!" I laughed again and thanked God. PHEW.

Me and my mom cried and laughed in the car and i felt so much relief that everything was okay! Seeing that baby today, makes everything I've been through SO worth it! :)

Oh ya! I am 10 weeks pregnant! My next appointment is in 2 weeks! yay! :)

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Its been a few days since I've written any updates so I thought I would let you know how things are going now that I have an IV giving me meds. And let me tell you... It came in perfect timing.

I had a REALLY bad night about 3 or 4 nights ago (I was still on Reglan) I lost 3 pounds in one day, I was super dehydrated and my Ketones were 2nd to highest on the scale. (Ketones tell you if your body is eating off of its "Reserves"/fats or not) That was WITH the IV med pump! Can you imagine how much worse it could have been without it? (blah! scary thought) We called the on call nurse several times that night.

The nurses at Alere (The at home care providers) have been ANGELS. Every single lady has gone above and beyond to help me and I am just SO grateful for them!! When this gets a little better I am going to send them a BIG FAT thank you note because of all they have done/helped/supported me! Thank you Jesus for such amazing people.

*It is really funny how my family gets all intense about changing the IV syringe and IV! I must say I was nervous at first, but we are naturals now. :) You have to change the injection site every 2 days ON YOUR OWN (yeah freaky right?!) and last time I had Brett poke me and this past time my dad did it and we both got soo red and started swetting! It was so funny! Such adventures.. I can't wait to share it with my kid one day!

The next day we made the decision to try to switch meds since Reglan wasn't doin' the trick.. SO we switched to Zofran. I went to sleep with Zofran in my system and I didn't wake up ONCE in the night! It was a miracle!! Reglan made me restless and jittery so I was hardly sleeping, so to be able to sleep was amazing. It is still kind of tricky sleeping with an IV in your leg, but I am getting better at it!

I am feeling WAY more optimistic. At one point I wasn't sure if I could make it.. But I feel like this new medicine is really giving me some hope. I still feel so sick, but at least now it is bearable. P.s. today I weighed 123!! I was down to 118 so it is a BIG deal for me to be putting weight back on. Horaay!

I've been thinking about my little one a lot more.. (I didn't feel well enough to even THINK about being pregnant before) I feel like this kid has a great purpose! I mean how could they not? :) I've been fighting for this kid from the beginning and I just can't wait to see what God does with this little one's life.

The song "Why does love always feel like a Battlefield" keeps running through my head.. Not that it has anything to do with my situation, but I was just thinking about how I've been FIGHTING and BATTLING for this kid. I've been almost to the end of myself and LOVE has kept me in this battle. I can't explain it.. It runs so deep, even so early. I will fight for this Child! Thanks for fighting along side of me. You have been a light in a DARK time. :)


LOVE!

Heather

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Me and Brett had to make a tough but necessary decision yesterday... To receive at home care through IV's to give me medicine (the meds I've been taking just don't work) and fluids.

Dr. Parker HIGHLY suggested the home care to us last week when I went to the hospital, but we were both nervous/skeptical because of the financial costs. Brett finally talked to the financial peeps and then talked to a nurse, and what they offer sounds REALLY good.

Not only will they be giving me medicine and fluids through an IV, they will be consulting me on the foods and calories I should be eating to get me back on track, taking my weight, taking urine samples and other things to make sure I am doing well.

When I heard all of this I cried out of relief. Not the response I was expecting either, but its honestly been misery. I need some sort of relief

They are coming today and I wish they could have come sooner. Last night was ROUGH threw up before bed, and woke up (and still up) at 4 am heaving, and retching for 10 minutes. Exhausted, I am looking forward to meeting the nurse today.

PRAY FOR ME!

Matthew 5
3"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
&
6"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat. (AMEN!)

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