Adventures with Heather

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Abortion... Women's Choice or Women's Regret??

I've been reading up on Abortion today, and I've come to one conclusion.. Abortion is often filled with regret and horrible trama to those whose "choice" it is to do. Women only understand the short term of "I won't have to deal with an "Unwanted pregnancy"", then later are faced with dealing with the pain and guilt of the anniversary of the day they got the abortion and thinking of how it was their baby's first birthday and didn't get to hold them.. I understand this pain perfectly after having a miscarriage.. I think that is why I am so passionate about this! These women (MOSTLY YOUNG WOMEN) need after care.. For trama, for counseling.. for healing.. I don't really think they know what they are doing, only thinking in the short-term.. selfishly (as we all are at a young age) choosing an abortion thinking all their problems will disappear.

More importantly, the option of abortion needs to be taken away. But until that day comes, they need to have programs to get these women in!!!

I didn't know this but there is a Post Traumatic Disorder associated with abortion.. Sometimes it hits the woman 10 years later in memory flashes, or nightmares.. Researchers say that it is the same Trauma that War Veteran's experience. It's Shocking isn't it?

Here is something I found on a site called www.standupgirl.com. It's a support site for people who have gotten or are thinking about getting an abortion. It is really hard to read (My eyes are still watery), but it really carries weight coming from a young girl who got an abortion herself...

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As the end of my senior year approached I felt different something had changed. Sure enough, a baby was growing inside of me. I was 18 and found out I was pregnant 2 weeks after graduating. I went to a clinic and I was 5 weeks pregnant. I was devastated. I cried for hours. I finally told my boyfriend and he was shocked as I was. We talked about what we should do, "what was best for me", and how my parents would react. I had major plans for my future and a scholarship that I had to keep. I thought I was not going to be able to continue my dreams, that a baby will stop me, but most important I thought about what my dad would say and how he would react. So we concluded, I was getting an abortion, I was not sure if I wanted to go through with it, but I convinced myself that it was going to be the best for me and my baby.

I went to the clinic and was in the waiting room with my boyfriend, my heart was pounding and my mind was debating with my heart, "should I do this?" My name was called and I was taken into a cold room. I sat there for about 30 minutes alone, I began crying and gathered myself up and decided I had to go through with it. The doctor gave me 2 pills that stopped hormones going to the fetus, not allowing them to grow, before she gave them to me she asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this. I paused for a while took a deep breath and said yes. I felt normal, ok. The doctor gave me instructions to take four more pills on Sunday, which will cause the abortion.

That Sunday I woke and prayed and took the pills, I felt terrible. I had major cramps. Not only was I hurting physically, but mentally. After everything happened I felt good I didn't really think about it much. But a week later or so I started dying little by little inside. I regretted it. It's been almost one year and til this day I still cry hysterically and punish myself. I hate myself for being so selfish, killing my first. I know I could have done it. I should have listened to my inner voice but I didn't and til this day...I regret it. And it is killing me inside little by little. I don't know what to do.

Regretful
Gabrielle


Some Responses from other women who have gotten abortions....

missmybaby says...

I feel exactly the same way. Today I realized that if I had not had my abortion, my baby would be turning one year old this month. I think about my baby all the time, and miss it all the time, but I haven't cried this hard about it for a long time. All I want is to have my baby back.


valeriemarie1 says...

I feel the same way you do and till this day i cry in the night , cause i knew what i was doing was wrong but i felt so helpless , my child would have been 2 this coming jan and just to think of it it still brings tears to my eyes , but i promised myself after that i would never do it again and now i have a beautiful baby little boy to show for it , and i know he not my real first child but he has all the love i can give and more , and i still think time after time what if that child was still here and wonder but then i look at my son face and i stop my wondering ,all i want you to know is that sometimes we do things we shouldnt have but we make up for them in our future .

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

2009

I feel like I am on the water fall edge of something amazing. I feel my heart coming alive day by day. My mind is refocusing. My will to DO something is increasing. A New Year, a New start. AMEN!

Do you ever feel like your life is like all these puzzle pieces scattered every where and you have no idea when they will ever come together? I have felt like I am a 10,000 piece puzzle these past few months.. Like nothing I do comes together. So much caos and confusion.

Okay let me get to the point here....

A few days ago I got a CD. Phil Wickham's "Cannons".

I know what you are thinking.. "I totally saw him at Jhouse's Breathe Festival, and have all his cd's. He is fantastic. I've known about his music forever.. Get with the program!!" To that I would say, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT HIS MUSIC?? I have soo been missing out!"

I started listening to the CD and listening to the words.. Chills upon chills later I was hooked. I believe God was reaching out to me through each song. Taking me to a deeper level of how I think about God and his relationship with us. (LISTEN TO LOVE SONG and you will see what I mean) I listened to Cannon's at work over and over. I felt stronger and stronger, making the songs my prayers. A puzzle piece of understanding God's love came together in those moments. I tried not to cry with joy over my astonishing discovery of God and His amazingness. Great moments..

I then listened to a sermon by Rich Nathan. Boy did that speak to me too! Tugging on my heart strings God spoke to me loads. Freeing me up of some stuff I've been dragging around with me.

One of the things I've been dragging with me is depression. Depression and me have been taking punches at each other for a while, and I am not saying that I've beaten it, but feeding my heart with "good stuff" instead of feeding it with even more depressing songs and things has GREATLY helped. *The puzzle piece of hope snaps together.*

I just happen to be speaking at the Youth group in 2 weeks about Music, and I think it is funny that God is totally using music to help me right now.. That is one cool little puzzle piece that is coming together.

Another amazing puzzle piece that is coming into place soon is that I am going to a seminar at the vineyard about sex trafficking of children and women in Columbus, and what we can do to stop it. I don't know if you know this or not, but a while ago I found LOVE146.org. it made my heart want to do something about child sex trafficking, then Rich Nathan the very next week talked about LOVE146.org and about the seminar and I knew I had to go! Neato.

I think the neat thing about puzzles is that it is really overwhelming when you see all the pieces scattered everywhere, but over time you start seeing shape and seeing more of what the pieces are supposed to make up. I don't know what all the pieces of my life are going to make but I hope at the end of my life me and Jesus and look back and see something beautiful. I can almost picture Him saying "Heather remember when I helped you find that piece?" He is that kind of God. He is amazing.

TRUE LOVE *Lyrics*

Come close listen to the story
About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers Broken Heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Search your heart you know you can't deny it
Come on, lose your life just so you can find it
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The Earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt The Fathers broken heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Now, Jesus is alive

Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Oh, He is alive
He rose again

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Come close listen to the story