Adventures with Heather

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I found out about this through Paramore, an amazing band. This is the story of LOVE146, an organization dedicated to abolish Child sex slavery.

The Statistics are staggering..
*2 Children per minute are trafficked for sexual exploitation
*1.2 million Children are trafficked anually
*32 Billion Dollars is generated from human trafficking each year

To get involved go to

The number pinned to her dress was 146...

In 2002, the co-founders of Love 146 travelled to South East Asia on an exploratory trip to determine how they could serve in the fight against child sex trafficking. In one experience, there was an invitation to change the world. to transform a reality that cannot stand. Our male co-founders were taken undercover with investigators to a brothel, where they witnessed children being sold for sex. This was their experience. This is the story that changed our lives.

"...standing shoulder to shoulder with predators in a small room. looking at little girls through a pane of glass. all of the girls wore matching red dresses. they stood, blankly watching cartoons on tv. they were vacant, shells. there was no light in their eyes, no life. to be missing this was shattering. this light has been stolen, this life has been stolen. she is raped each night. seven, ten, fifteen times each night. she is raped. she is thirteen, eleven, five-years-old. cigarette burns cover her back. scars we cannot see, cannot conceive of, cover her. everywhere. envelop her. there was one girl. one girl who wouldn't watch the cartoons. number 146. she was looking beyond the glass. she was staring out at us. her piercing stare. there was still fight left in her eyes. there was still life left in her...

...all of these emotions begin to wreck you. break you. it is agony. it is aching. it is grief. it is sorrow. the reaction is intuitive, instinctive. it is visceral. it releases a wailing cry inside of you. it elicits gut-level indignation. it is unbearable.

…i remember wanting to break through the glass. to take her away from that place, to juggle as many of them as I could into my arms. to take all of them away. wanting to break through the glass. to tell her to keep fighting. to tell her that we were coming for her…"

To break through the glass would have been to react instead of respond. it would only have postponed their suffering. a temporary and immediate solution cannot address this crisis, this emergency. the reality is dark, it is global. the numbers overwhelming. the words of those who have survived, we cannot forget.

"I was in that brothel for 3 years and for 2 of them I never saw the sun. They never let me out. I was in a little room and there was no window.
I was only eight and my sister was four when we were sold into the brothel."

It was in Thailand, where our co-founders encountered child 146, that our work began. Our projects have since expanded to Cambodia, the Philippines, India and soon Sri Lanka. The countries within which we work are among the predominant centers of the child sex trafficking and slavery industry. The governments of these countries consistently fail to comply with minimum standards for the elimination of trafficking. Thailand is widely recognized as a hub of sex tourism; Cambodia is without a comprehensive anti-trafficking law, legislation has been in the drafting process for the last 7 years; The Philippines saw only one conviction of a trafficker in the past year; India is home to 2 million child sex workers between the ages of 5 and 15, it is estimated that an additional 500,000 children are forced into the sex industry each year.

The story of Love146 needs an end.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

"Wallow"-a Gilmore reference

So the episode where Loreli tries to get Rory to "wallow" in the pain of her recent break-up with Dean came to my mind just now. She tells Rory to get a bucket of icecream, lay in bed all day, cry it out.. Yesterday I had a grand time wallowing! :) Although I wasn't breaking up with a beloved boyfriend, the emotion is the same. Hurt, Grief, and the thought that nothing will be the same. 

Rory and I are similar in the fact that we didn't want to wallow right away.. We refused to in fact. It was just too hard to deal with it, so no wallowing.. Life has to go on. the thought of I just want to be normal or If I stop here I will drown in grief for heaven sakes!

 Rory says, "MOM LEAVE ME ALONE!" Heather says, "GOD LEAVE ME ALONE!" 

Then I realize today is my due date. "Today is the day I would have met my baby. Today is the day most moms take their baby home from the hospital."-- I don't get any farther before the excessive tears come.. 

The wallowing Begins

I cried all night.

I cried when I woke up the next morning.

I went back to sleep.

Slept for hours more.

Ate whatever I wanted to eat. (popsicles instead of icecream for me!)

I read Hans Christian Anderson.

I read (Cried MORE tears)

I wallowed. I missed. I wondered. I agonized. I cried more.

Today when I woke up I feel the scar. I see it in my eyes. A beautiful reminder that I have a daughter. That I experienced something more amazing in the few months I was with her than I ever have in a lifetime. "She's opened my eyes to see, that there is more to life than this". I am better and worse because of it. I am stronger and weaker because of it..

After reading I was reminded that Jesus was left with scars too. A beautiful reminder of the suffering he went through for love. 


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Due Date

So today is the due date of our little girl Lily who we lost this past Easter. I didn't realize it until just recently actually.

These past couple of days have been so awesome! I wasn't planning on going to the Youth Pastor's round table with Brett, but something kept me there.. I was just supposed to do worship and leave, but the people were so awesome and encouraging and the topics were riveting and I just couldn't leave!! :0) God was speaking in some powerful ways.. He spoke to me in some powerful ways. I also got some sweet prayer from Heather and Alton.. And man, god spoke to me so deeply. PERFECT TIMING.

I met a really cool couple, The Applegates, and Tara went through a miscarriage in 2003 and now has 2 adorable children. She said that I had been on her heart the last couple days, and we were able to share our experiences. We both had some similarities to our situations and it was really cool to talk and share with her. We both watered up as we spoke of our unborn children.. Toward the end she asked if I had past my due date yet, and I said "well, I don't know.. It's November 18th, has that date past yet?" Not knowing today is November 18th. eee..

I just told Brett as I was writing this my revelation about today, and I didn't realize I would, but I began to gush with tears! Phew.. The whirlwind of events that has happened.. It seems like just yesterday and years ago all that the same time. I realized it is still a very tender and sore area that needs constant healing and attention. One minute I can talk about it with ease and the next my heart is so heavy I can't say a word without bawling my eyes out in a way that is really embarrassing! (the ugly cry) Everyday I get a little more healed and everyday I discover I am completely a mess all at the same time!

God is so faithful through it all.. I kind of quit pressing into Him in the mess of all of this. I just got so tired.. Not that we quit talking completely, but I just didn't spend the quality time we used to. I quit going to services.. I quit reading my bible and waiting on Him.. I quit investing in people.. I quit singing.. I quit writing.. I just kind of shriveled in my hurt, ya know? But man these past couple of days and weeks my heart is getting back to where it was and better than before! I feel like I am hearing God's voice again! Not that I didn't hear it during all of this, I just quit listening.. I forgot how amazing it is to hear from Him and really worship Him. I got my voice back, my song writing back, my passion for people and for things back.

Today is still a struggle in every way. Tomorrow will be too. But I know God has something for me in all of this. He is showing His glory through it all. That being said.. pray for me and Brett today. Pray for other mom's and dad's who have lost their little ones too. They need our prayers! :)