Adventures with Heather

Thursday, December 31, 2009

A New Year, A New Start.

As I reflect on this past year, it feels like a blur.. So much has happened! So many changes, challenges, lessons, lots of crying from past wounds, lots of healing, Letdowns, New Love, Blessings, Triumphs...

Here are some Highlights...

-Got a job as a Court Runner at a Law Office downtown
-Got a job as High School Intern at Vineyard Columbus
-Spoke & Co-Led Worship at High School Summer Camp
-Started a High School Small Group called: The Justice League!

-My Niece Chloe was born

-My Nephew Dylan was born

-Made a Music Video to raise awareness about Human trafficking

-Played lots of music and worship

-Wrote lots of music
-Recorded "Awaken Me" with Rick May
-Won an award on Ourstage.com for being in the Top 10 in the Indie Rock Category for "Battle Scars"
-Went to Nashville for GMA's Immerse Conference for musicians
-Got Prego - spent most of that time on Bed Rest



-Grew friendships
-Got an Electric Guitar
-Fell more in love with my husband

-Made cool crafts and Paintings..


I am hopeful that 2010 could be the best yet! A New Year, A New Start. I'm looking forward to: Less sickness, Our new babe will enter the world, We will be moving into a BIGGER and less expensive home (thanks to Brett's dad), The Priceless Music Video will be released and will be playing Priceless at a Human Trafficking event on OSU's Campus in April.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Owls & Trees For Baby's room!



I spent 2 and a half hours cutting out handmade shapes of owls, owl eyes, owl beaks, and trees while watching Penelope today! I was feeling creative after receiving sooo many cool painting supplies for Christmas from my parents, and I decided to make something for my baby's room! :) All the Colors used in my picture, are the same colors used in my baby's bedding (we got bedding for our last baby that we lost, and decided to keep it and use it again.) and I am soo excited to see what it all turns out like! I had soo much fun creating again!

Since I've been so sick, it's been hard to do ANYTHING. It was so refreshing and fun to do something I love doing again. :)

By the way... today I am 15 weeks Pregnant!! My belly continues to grow and change everyday. It seems like everyday I wake up it is a little bigger, and it is neat! I am finally getting excited about continuing this process of pregnancy.

Here is a pic of me at 14 weeks!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

14 week appointment and all is well pretty amazing!

I had my 14 week Check in with the doc today, and it went really well!

The nurse looked at me and said, "You look like you are feeling better!" and I said, "Yes! Finally!" I stepped on the scale and let out a "Horraaayy!" when I saw that I gained 3 pounds and the nurse said "good job!". I told her it probably has something to do with the Lasagna kick I've been on these past couple days! :)

We heard our baby's heartbeat again and that was neat! Just to know everything is continuing as normal, even though my situation hasn't exactly been normal, is REALLY comforting. I told Dr. Parker I've been able to eat a lot more (lots of lasagna) and haven't been as nauseated as before, especially since I've been taking the benadryl. He told me it was really good to see me putting on weight. He also told me since I am feeling better, he wants to start weaning me off the zofran medicine pump!! And I said "YAY!"

How exciting is that??!! No more needles, syringes, wires, band aids, bruises, pain and knots! I can finally feel like a normal pregnant person, and not like a sicko outcast. Not saying anyone ever said anything to me, but it is awkward when people stare at the tubes coming out of you and the medicine pump.. it just makes you want to hide! It will be so nice to not have to deal with all of that soon. :)

After the doctors appointment me and Brett made a stop at Taco Bell. Mmmmm, double decker taco's are inspirational! Another happy moment of being able to EAT and not feel sick.. I never thought it would be possible!

Let me just tell you.. this week has been a good one! It's the little things you know? Like Hanging out with Alicia and Brett for a Lord of the Rings and Eggs Benedict morning, Cassie coming to cut my hair and chat (the hair cut has given me some much needed confidence!), Going to starbucks to hang out with the Youth Ministry peeps to celebrate Chris Traut's term as Youth Pastor, reading blogs written by friends like Jenny Sigler and getting pumped up to be a mom :) and talking to my best buddy Emily for an hour about life! ALSO! Beth and Nick Fancher had their baby Jack yesterday, and I was just happy all day! I am so glad I am feeling better for Christmas too! Even though I am not 100% I feel like I will be able to enjoy it much better than I would have 2 weeks ago even!

In other random news, I got my first maternity pants from Gap Maternity (with a gift card) and they are fabulous!

Plus, only 1 more appointment until I find out if it is a Boy or a Girl!

Possible Boy name (thought of by Brett): TRUST - (cuz we've had to Trust God a lot!)
Possible Girl name (also thought of by Brett): IVY -(our fave character in the Village, the blind girl with red curly hair, she is amazing!)

Basically I suck at picking out names, but it's okay because Brett is really creative and good at it! :)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Hope in a bottle..

I wrote this after our miscarriage of Lily, our daughter..

"I'll put hope in a bottle
and throw it out to sea, to sea
and maybe one day it
will come back to me, to me"

The poem is about the hope of having a child, and trusting that we would have the opportunity again. And sure enough here we are 13 WEEKS pregnant with great hope. Isn't it interesting how God redeems?

Death stings to the core, but there is such JOY in new life.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

12 week Baby Appointment!

Lots of people are asking me how my appointment went yesterday (thank you for asking it makes me happy!), so I thought I'd write it here! :)

I was feeling really sick by the time we got in to see the doctor (which was actually good so I could tell him how I was feeling) because it was beginning to be afternoon. Afternoon is when my body decides it doesn't like being pregnant and makes me super sick! I was eating animal crackers when the doctor came in. he-he.

We talked about how I was feeling and he said that we should wait until I feel a little bit better before I'm weaned off the meds. (thank the Lord) He also said to take Benadryl because it has something in it that helps nausea/motion sickness. (I looked it up online and it is legit) It seems to help take the edge off for sure. He also took me off of Progesterone supplements and said that may help me feel better too.

He also did the little sound monitor to hear the heartbeat, and sure enough as soon as he put it on my belly the heartbeat was just beating away! That was the first time we've actually HEARD the heartbeat and I got quite emotional! It was soo neat!

I am going back again in 2 weeks just to make sure everything is still going well. They just want to stay on top of everything.

Brett drove me to our appointment while he went to work, but before that he got me some goodies at Giant Eagle. I was all worked up and excited and sick after our appointment that I was gagging in the Giant Eagle parking lot! I ate some pretzels, and listened to some Phil Wickham. Ahhhh... Peace. I listened to the song "Beautiful" and had STREAMS of tears running down my face! Tears of joy and thankfulness. It made all of my worries disappear. That no matter what I go through I can do it with Gods help. :)

My amazing conversation with Alicia from the morning also came flooding back and it was a great time of reflection and praise. I was reminded how BLESSED I am. How people like Alicia have encouraged me to keep going and have loved me despite my constant moaning! :)

I still need help/prayer, but I am keeping my eyes on the prize!!! My baby!!! I can't wait to meet my little sweetie. So we wait!

p.s. My mom is still in the hospital and does have infection from the appendix being removed. She has a fever, but they are watching her closely. She might come home today if her fever goes down! Keep praying for her!

BEAUTIFUL- Phil Wickham
"I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You’re beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It’s all proclaiming who You are
You’re beautiful, You're beautiful

I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You’re beautiful, you're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful

I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, I see Your face
I see Your face, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful"

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Beauty in the Breakdown

"So, let go, let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown" Frou Frou

Yesterday started out like a normal day.

Me and mom were chatting it up about cool things happening at the youth group, and brainstorming about the future. You see she's been filling in for me as intern while I've been sick. Just another reason why she is Super-Mom.

She started not feeling so good after eating some smelly turkey and I teased her that that was why she was feeling sick. She kept getting worse as the minutes ticked on. Her abdomen started hurting really bad and I said "dad, should you take mom to the ER to get her checked out?" and he said "Yeah I think we are going to go now." and turned to my mom and said, "What about Berger?" Thinking my dad was asking if she wanted a cheese burger, she daid "No! I don't want a Burger!" In all reality dad was talking about the hospital in Circleville, Berger Hospital! ha!

My dad kept me up to date with Texts. She got a CAT scan and they determined the pain was coming from her halfway removed appendix. She had gotten in removed in 7th grade when surgical proceedures weren't as up to date as they are now and they didn't get all of it. I guess it had swollen up to be the size of an actual appendix my dad said.

They did emergency surgery that night and I was just a mess not being able to be there. I talked to my sister Amy and texted some people to pray. I was feeling REALLY sick too. The more worked up I got the sicker I felt. I ended up throwing up at one point and I haven't thrown up in a while.

I was kneeling by my bed while throwing up, so I took the opportunity to talk to God. I prayed "God be by my mom's bedside tonight. Be with the doctors." It was all I had, but I knew God understood. :)

It feels like I am in the "Breakdown" mode right now. I have been numb for so long just dealing with sickness from day to day but when something like this happens, it knocks the wind out of you. I am looking for the beauty in all of this today. My 12 week appointment is at 10:50 so I'm sure I'll find some there. :)

In the Meantime, Pray for my mom and for my family today. We all need it. We all are feeling a little beat up and broken down.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A little Scare, A Little Squirmy kid! 11-24-09

I had a doctor appointment today! It was a mixture of emotions let me tell you what!!

I was REALLY quiet (and a little moody *sorry Brett*) in the car on the way up to the appointment. I was praying and thinking and contemplating a lot of things. It hasn't been an easy road and I was just hoping that I would hear the heart beat of our baby and that everything would be okay.

We got there (my mom came too!) and I was still feeling quiet. Doctor Parker came in the room and commented on my lovely designer medical bag (hehe) and it made me laugh and loosen up a bit. I asked him some questions and he was REALLY helpful!

Then it came to see if there was a heart beat and I started to sweat. He was searching for a heart beat for what seemed like FOREVER. I don't know how long it really was but it seemed like a long time. Everyone was so quiet and I was sweating and holding back tears. He pulled me up and said "I think I heard the heart beat a couple times, but lets do a quick ultra sound just to make sure." With a deer in the headlights kind of look on my face, we proceeded to the ultra sound room. Brett and mom at the perfect moment told me "everything is going to be okay, don't worry"

Tears in my eyes, Dr. Parker did the Ultra sound and I didn't see anything at first, and the the most spectacular thing happened! We saw the shape of a little baby "dancing" and swimming and squirming all around! I started to laugh/cry when I saw it! (I wish I had a video! It was amazing!) Dr. Parker said, "Welp, looks like the heart beat is just fine! Your baby is moving around like crazy!" I laughed again and thanked God. PHEW.

Me and my mom cried and laughed in the car and i felt so much relief that everything was okay! Seeing that baby today, makes everything I've been through SO worth it! :)

Oh ya! I am 10 weeks pregnant! My next appointment is in 2 weeks! yay! :)

Monday, November 16, 2009

11-16-09 Fighting for Love-Life with an IV

Its been a few days since I've written any updates so I thought I would let you know how things are going now that I have an IV giving me meds. And let me tell you... It came in perfect timing.

I had a REALLY bad night about 3 or 4 nights ago (I was still on Reglan) I lost 3 pounds in one day, I was super dehydrated and my Ketones were 2nd to highest on the scale. (Ketones tell you if your body is eating off of its "Reserves"/fats or not) That was WITH the IV med pump! Can you imagine how much worse it could have been without it? (blah! scary thought) We called the on call nurse several times that night.

The nurses at Alere (The at home care providers) have been ANGELS. Every single lady has gone above and beyond to help me and I am just SO grateful for them!! When this gets a little better I am going to send them a BIG FAT thank you note because of all they have done/helped/supported me! Thank you Jesus for such amazing people.

*It is really funny how my family gets all intense about changing the IV syringe and IV! I must say I was nervous at first, but we are naturals now. :) You have to change the injection site every 2 days ON YOUR OWN (yeah freaky right?!) and last time I had Brett poke me and this past time my dad did it and we both got soo red and started swetting! It was so funny! Such adventures.. I can't wait to share it with my kid one day!

The next day we made the decision to try to switch meds since Reglan wasn't doin' the trick.. SO we switched to Zofran. I went to sleep with Zofran in my system and I didn't wake up ONCE in the night! It was a miracle!! Reglan made me restless and jittery so I was hardly sleeping, so to be able to sleep was amazing. It is still kind of tricky sleeping with an IV in your leg, but I am getting better at it!

I am feeling WAY more optimistic. At one point I wasn't sure if I could make it.. But I feel like this new medicine is really giving me some hope. I still feel so sick, but at least now it is bearable. P.s. today I weighed 123!! I was down to 118 so it is a BIG deal for me to be putting weight back on. Horaay!

I've been thinking about my little one a lot more.. (I didn't feel well enough to even THINK about being pregnant before) I feel like this kid has a great purpose! I mean how could they not? :) I've been fighting for this kid from the beginning and I just can't wait to see what God does with this little one's life.

The song "Why does love always feel like a Battlefield" keeps running through my head.. Not that it has anything to do with my situation, but I was just thinking about how I've been FIGHTING and BATTLING for this kid. I've been almost to the end of myself and LOVE has kept me in this battle. I can't explain it.. It runs so deep, even so early. I will fight for this Child! Thanks for fighting along side of me. You have been a light in a DARK time. :)


LOVE!

Heather

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

11-10-09 a tough but necessary decision

Me and Brett had to make a tough but necessary decision yesterday... To receive at home care through IV's to give me medicine (the meds I've been taking just don't work) and fluids.

Dr. Parker HIGHLY suggested the home care to us last week when I went to the hospital, but we were both nervous/skeptical because of the financial costs. Brett finally talked to the financial peeps and then talked to a nurse, and what they offer sounds REALLY good.

Not only will they be giving me medicine and fluids through an IV, they will be consulting me on the foods and calories I should be eating to get me back on track, taking my weight, taking urine samples and other things to make sure I am doing well.

When I heard all of this I cried out of relief. Not the response I was expecting either, but its honestly been misery. I need some sort of relief

They are coming today and I wish they could have come sooner. Last night was ROUGH threw up before bed, and woke up (and still up) at 4 am heaving, and retching for 10 minutes. Exhausted, I am looking forward to meeting the nurse today.

PRAY FOR ME!

Matthew 5
3"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
&
6"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat. (AMEN!)

Friday, November 6, 2009

Nov 6- Hardest Days yet..

**Faint at heart beware of reading*
Yesterday was the hardest day yet... It began with violently throwing up and ended worse.

I woke up yesterday morning and started getting ready for my doc appointment at 8:45am and somewhere in between putting moose in my hair and washing my hands I started throwing up (mostly those painful dry heaves where nothing comes out but you can't stop). Shaking.. I continued getting ready, rolls of tears coming down my face.

We went to the doc and got to meet DR. Parker! I'd only been talking to his FANTASTIC nurse Kathleen through all of my troubles, but it was nice to meet him in person. He was soo nice. He asked me a bunch of questions about how I was feeling (I was holding tight to my pink puke bucket while we talked! haha) and he asked if the Zofran was working to which I replied "Not at all, I threw up before I got here actually." He told me that he wanted to do some blood tests to see if there were any issues with my thyroid or anything like that. He also said he wanted to send me to St. Ann's right away to get some IV fluids.

Me and Brett headed to St. Ann's at 10am and Mary Beth a sweet, sweet nurse hooked me up to an IV, with a little bit of trouble finding my veins. OUCH. It was a long experience but quite pleasant to my surprise because I had some really nice people looking after me! They also gave me some Zofran through the IV and it helped soo much! I didn't feel sick for the first time in a long time. But after a while it started to wear off so they gave me phenergan. When they gave me Phenergan, I got extremely tired REALLY fast. I could hardly walk out of their and almost fainted on Brett! It was kind of comical..

I got home and slept for a good 3 hours. When i woke up I realized I hadn't eaten all day, so Brett make us some Breakfast/Dinner. I ate it and felt decent. My stomach was kind of turning though with some cramping, but I just figured things were just moving around. I ate some raspberries and sunflower seeds, and shortly after that I ran to the bathroom, stomach wrenching and I went to the bathroom (#2) for the first time in I don't know how long. I felt accomplished, until I felt like throwing up.. I threw up all my dinner and sat there praying in between vomiting "God give me strength!..... I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!..... You are my refuge....." Doing this gave me a strange amount of peace in my pain. I continued to do this 6 more times minus the puking, but the pain was horrible. I got a small glimpse of what it might feel like to be a chemo patient. Weak as a rag I went back out to lay on the couch and shortly after go to bed. I felt queasy when i went to bed, but I tried not to think about it..

I woke up at 9am to a phone call from my nurse Kathleen. She asked who I felt yesterday and I told her about my ordeal. She said I am soo sorry and said she would tell Dr. Parker. I got a phone call not too much longer later from her again and she said she talked to Dr. Parker and she told me they want to do some at home medicine treatments through an IV, since it seemed to help at the Hospital. I just spoke with them and they are going to try Reglan this time. I am scared, but kind of glad they are doing it. I just can't keep the pills down.. I can't eat or drink much either.

Pray for me in this time. I feel like I am so weak that my body can't take much more. I just want to be healthy not only for me but for my baby. I feel so helpless. I am praying for protection of my little one.

Nov 1st- Where I am now

What a crazy couple of weeks!! I have been on a roller coaster of emotions.. I have felt the high of finding out we were pregnant, and felt the low of "all day sickness". It hasn't been easy, but anything worth doing never really is!

I started getting sick the day I went to the doctor for my first appointment. I was happy that day, feeling invincible yet again, thinking "I can handle this, no big deal.." I thought it was bad then, but I had NO idea how much worse it was going to get! I spent most of my time on the couch, unable to move or else the horrible inevitability would happen, throwing up all the precious food in my belly, or worse, dry heaving.

Brett was gone at Cloud 9 at the beginning of the worst of it. (It figures! He is almost always gone when I need him!) I didn't have my phone, my parents were on vacation.. I felt completely alone and miserable. I sent a message to my sister on Facebook to reach out to someone. She got back to me and told me she called my AMAZING Grandma Waugh to come get me and take care of me while Brett was gone.

what a God send Grandma Waugh was.. She kept me eating small really good meals, made me tea, and we watched Little Women, Sense and Sensibility and a bunch of LifeTime movies. :) She kept my spirits up for sure!

I went from Grandma's to my parent's house when they got home from vacation. Amy and Chole were up for a week from Nashville, and it was really nice to see them! Chloe is getting so big and is sitting up now! How time flies..

Amy was really awesome taking care of me while mom and dad were at work and she TOTALLY understood because she was horribly sick in her first trimester. It was just really good to be around family in that time because you can just be yourself. Good, bad or ugly. My mom was right there for me when I was throwing up and getting me whatever I needed. Dad made a special trip to McDonalds when I said I wanted chicken nuggets. :) My family is amazing.. I don't know if you can tell that by now!

Needless to say Brett is gone all this weekend as well, but it is okay, because my mom is still taking great care of me! I can hardly eat still.. I've lost 5lbs, but I am feeling better emotionally. I am just SO grateful for my family right now. I don't know what I would have done without them!

Keep praying for me.. My 12 week appointment is November 24th and I feel like I can't make it until then at times, but I know I can do it with people like you encouraging me and my family being here for me like they have!

Oct 22- Update

UPDATE OCT 22!:

My nurse called me yesterday again and had me come in for an Ultra Sound today to see if everything was alright. I saw my tiny babe's heart beat! It is really small, but it is there! Praise the Lord!

The only bummer (but a blessing) is that I am really sick! I woke up last night at 4 am REALLY nauseated, and when I was getting ready (putting moose in my hair) I started throwing up.. It was kind of funny actually!

Anyways.. thanks for your prayers! I feel them! :)

Heather

Oct 21-Levels-Pray!

Hello friends!

Sorry for all of these notes, but I just want to keep everyone up to date on what is happening with my prego self. :)

I got a phone call today from a Nurse at Dr. Parker's office letting me know about all of my levels and it looks like my Prego levels are high at 8,973 (yay) BUT my progesterone levels are actually quite low. Progesterone helps thicken the lining of the uterus creating the amniotic sac giving the baby a safe cushion and helps give them nutrients. Also there is a chance of miscarriage if your levels are too low, SO I am REALLY glad they got back to me right away about it.

They are going to prescribe me some progesterone supplements to take at night and that should get me on track! Plus they are going to have me come in for more blood tests in a few weeks before my next appointment so that is really good. I am soo thrilled to have such awesome doctors who actually CARE! It is a blessing. Thank you Jesus!

I know that a lot of women struggle with low progesterone during pregnancy and have been just fine, so I am trying not to worry about it. I know that I am doing all I can and that's all that matters! God is in control. AMEN!

Please pray that Jesus would help me in this time to trust that everything will be okay and that the progesterone supplements will help everything to continually progress. Thanks for all of your support!

Oct 19-1st baby Apt.

Today was my first Baby doctor appointment, and I must be honest with you, I was a little nervous, but really excited!

I met with the Nurse Practioner and she asked me a bunch of questions about the miscarriage and they were very good at making sure they did specific tests to take sure all my levels were good. They told me it was good I am feeling queazy even though it is not very comfortable, because they know that my hormones are working to keep the baby! Last time I didn't feel sick and that was one of the reasons they knew my levels were getting lower.

Looks like I am 6 weeks pregnant and my possible due date is June 15th! in 5 weeks we will go for our first ultrasound appointment and will find out more about how things are going. The nurse said they will probably do more blood testing too just to make sure my blood levels are still good! I am glad I have great doctors looking out for me and I am really hopeful and getting more excited now.

Praise Jesus for how He redeems.

Keep praying for us!

Heather Evans

Oct 11-Bun in the Oven

Hello Dear friends!

I found out some good/scary/awesome news on Friday that I would like to share with you...

I am Pregnant!

I have been feeling weird, missed a period and wanted pizza really bad, so I went to Kroger and Got Pizza and a pregnancy test, and sure enough, two tests being positive, later I am pregnant.

I know what you are thinking.. some of you are thinking "She is sharing this too soon", but I must tell you I have been stewing on when I would tell everyone, and I want to do it now. Let me explain..

When I went through the miscarriage last year I had SOOO much support and I couldn't imagine not telling anyone this time and something bad happening, and going through it alone. NOT that I think it will, but I am being real about it too.

I guess another reason I want to tell you this is so you can pray for me (and for Brett). We have a lot of fear and anxiety. We are reminded of last time and it is really hard to be super happy you know? We need LOT'S of prayer and love in this time.

So it is out...I am nervous, but I am trusting God that He will take care of everything! Be patient with me if I am not "giddy" at first, I just want to be cautious!

Thanks for reading, and for your love and support!

Heather

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Child Sex Trafficking in America (Shocking but True) READ

**I found this on the SHARED HOPE INTERNATIONAL Website it is shocking, but we can stop this! (And We should!)

Children being used by sex traffickers in America range in age from 9 to 19, with the average age being 11 years old. Efforts are being made to rescue them.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) estimates that well over 100,000 children and young women are sex trafficked every day. Many victims are not runaways or kids who have been abandoned but rather have been lured or coerced by clever predators.

Children as Sex Slaves in America
Many Americans often connect human trafficking as being a problem in other parts of the world, such as Thailand, Cambodia, Latin America and eastern Europe. However the reality is that there are thousands of young American girls who have been abducted or lured from their normal lives to become sex slaves. The predators that prey on them are very adept at reading children and knowing what their vulnerabilities are.

Rescuing Children From Prostitution
The FBI has been cracking down on child sex trafficking across the country. ABC7 San Francisco recently reported (10/27/08) that the Agency had led a sweep in that area which resulted in hundreds of arrests and the saving of dozens of children. Cooperating with Bay area police and the California Department of Justice, 642 people were arrested and 47 children were rescued from a life of prostitution.
The FBI sting covered street corners, outcall services, casinos and internet sites.in 27 cities across the country. This sting followed up one done in June 2008, "Operation Cross Country", that arrested 400 people and freed 21 children. What they found was that in the Bay Area of San Francisco, children---often runaways---were reaching out to pimps on social networking. The ways it works is that the predators become friends with the children, giving them a place to stay. The girls then become dependent upon them and are threatened into prostitution, working the streets.

Child Prostitution Crisis
Shared Hope International (SHI) has exposed a nationwide crisis in the U.S. Rueters reported their findings (9/15/08) in 10 diverse locations in the country, indicating the pervasiveness of American children trafficked domestically to meet a demand for commercial sex. According to the survey, which was done with a grant from the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ), these children are often misidentified as juvenile delinquents and punished for the crime that is being committed against them.
According to SHI, children who are exploited need special protection because psychological bonding is so intense that a child is likely to run away from a non-secure placement, back to her captor, and continue to be victimized by the trafficker.

The nationwide study found that:
*Between 100,000 and 300,000 children in the U.S. are at risk for sex trafficking each year.
*As many as 2.8 million children live on the streets, a third of whom are lured into prostitution within 48 hours of leaving home.
*12 to 14 is the average age of entry into pornography and prostitution.

National Training on Sex Trafficking of Children
At a conference held in Dallas, Texas, on September 15-16, 2008, SHI released a ground breaking training video that employs surveillance footage, survivor interviews, and expert testimony to educate and inform on how to identify and respond to America's children who are commercially sexually exploited. It reveals how the children are recruited and tricked into prostitution and will assist first-responders in understanding who these victims are and how to identify and serve them.

Whether children are forced or lured into becoming prostitutes as a runaways, a casual encounter in person or on the internet, they are now considered victims rather than criminals. Through the work of the FBI and organizations such as SHI, and with increasingly sophisticated tracking methods, there is hope that the number of children coerced into being prostitution will be reduced and more predators caught and prosecuted.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Abortion... Women's Choice or Women's Regret??

I've been reading up on Abortion today, and I've come to one conclusion.. Abortion is often filled with regret and horrible trama to those whose "choice" it is to do. Women only understand the short term of "I won't have to deal with an "Unwanted pregnancy"", then later are faced with dealing with the pain and guilt of the anniversary of the day they got the abortion and thinking of how it was their baby's first birthday and didn't get to hold them.. I understand this pain perfectly after having a miscarriage.. I think that is why I am so passionate about this! These women (MOSTLY YOUNG WOMEN) need after care.. For trama, for counseling.. for healing.. I don't really think they know what they are doing, only thinking in the short-term.. selfishly (as we all are at a young age) choosing an abortion thinking all their problems will disappear.

More importantly, the option of abortion needs to be taken away. But until that day comes, they need to have programs to get these women in!!!

I didn't know this but there is a Post Traumatic Disorder associated with abortion.. Sometimes it hits the woman 10 years later in memory flashes, or nightmares.. Researchers say that it is the same Trauma that War Veteran's experience. It's Shocking isn't it?

Here is something I found on a site called www.standupgirl.com. It's a support site for people who have gotten or are thinking about getting an abortion. It is really hard to read (My eyes are still watery), but it really carries weight coming from a young girl who got an abortion herself...

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As the end of my senior year approached I felt different something had changed. Sure enough, a baby was growing inside of me. I was 18 and found out I was pregnant 2 weeks after graduating. I went to a clinic and I was 5 weeks pregnant. I was devastated. I cried for hours. I finally told my boyfriend and he was shocked as I was. We talked about what we should do, "what was best for me", and how my parents would react. I had major plans for my future and a scholarship that I had to keep. I thought I was not going to be able to continue my dreams, that a baby will stop me, but most important I thought about what my dad would say and how he would react. So we concluded, I was getting an abortion, I was not sure if I wanted to go through with it, but I convinced myself that it was going to be the best for me and my baby.

I went to the clinic and was in the waiting room with my boyfriend, my heart was pounding and my mind was debating with my heart, "should I do this?" My name was called and I was taken into a cold room. I sat there for about 30 minutes alone, I began crying and gathered myself up and decided I had to go through with it. The doctor gave me 2 pills that stopped hormones going to the fetus, not allowing them to grow, before she gave them to me she asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this. I paused for a while took a deep breath and said yes. I felt normal, ok. The doctor gave me instructions to take four more pills on Sunday, which will cause the abortion.

That Sunday I woke and prayed and took the pills, I felt terrible. I had major cramps. Not only was I hurting physically, but mentally. After everything happened I felt good I didn't really think about it much. But a week later or so I started dying little by little inside. I regretted it. It's been almost one year and til this day I still cry hysterically and punish myself. I hate myself for being so selfish, killing my first. I know I could have done it. I should have listened to my inner voice but I didn't and til this day...I regret it. And it is killing me inside little by little. I don't know what to do.

Regretful
Gabrielle


Some Responses from other women who have gotten abortions....

missmybaby says...

I feel exactly the same way. Today I realized that if I had not had my abortion, my baby would be turning one year old this month. I think about my baby all the time, and miss it all the time, but I haven't cried this hard about it for a long time. All I want is to have my baby back.


valeriemarie1 says...

I feel the same way you do and till this day i cry in the night , cause i knew what i was doing was wrong but i felt so helpless , my child would have been 2 this coming jan and just to think of it it still brings tears to my eyes , but i promised myself after that i would never do it again and now i have a beautiful baby little boy to show for it , and i know he not my real first child but he has all the love i can give and more , and i still think time after time what if that child was still here and wonder but then i look at my son face and i stop my wondering ,all i want you to know is that sometimes we do things we shouldnt have but we make up for them in our future .

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

2009

I feel like I am on the water fall edge of something amazing. I feel my heart coming alive day by day. My mind is refocusing. My will to DO something is increasing. A New Year, a New start. AMEN!

Do you ever feel like your life is like all these puzzle pieces scattered every where and you have no idea when they will ever come together? I have felt like I am a 10,000 piece puzzle these past few months.. Like nothing I do comes together. So much caos and confusion.

Okay let me get to the point here....

A few days ago I got a CD. Phil Wickham's "Cannons".

I know what you are thinking.. "I totally saw him at Jhouse's Breathe Festival, and have all his cd's. He is fantastic. I've known about his music forever.. Get with the program!!" To that I would say, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT HIS MUSIC?? I have soo been missing out!"

I started listening to the CD and listening to the words.. Chills upon chills later I was hooked. I believe God was reaching out to me through each song. Taking me to a deeper level of how I think about God and his relationship with us. (LISTEN TO LOVE SONG and you will see what I mean) I listened to Cannon's at work over and over. I felt stronger and stronger, making the songs my prayers. A puzzle piece of understanding God's love came together in those moments. I tried not to cry with joy over my astonishing discovery of God and His amazingness. Great moments..

I then listened to a sermon by Rich Nathan. Boy did that speak to me too! Tugging on my heart strings God spoke to me loads. Freeing me up of some stuff I've been dragging around with me.

One of the things I've been dragging with me is depression. Depression and me have been taking punches at each other for a while, and I am not saying that I've beaten it, but feeding my heart with "good stuff" instead of feeding it with even more depressing songs and things has GREATLY helped. *The puzzle piece of hope snaps together.*

I just happen to be speaking at the Youth group in 2 weeks about Music, and I think it is funny that God is totally using music to help me right now.. That is one cool little puzzle piece that is coming together.

Another amazing puzzle piece that is coming into place soon is that I am going to a seminar at the vineyard about sex trafficking of children and women in Columbus, and what we can do to stop it. I don't know if you know this or not, but a while ago I found LOVE146.org. it made my heart want to do something about child sex trafficking, then Rich Nathan the very next week talked about LOVE146.org and about the seminar and I knew I had to go! Neato.

I think the neat thing about puzzles is that it is really overwhelming when you see all the pieces scattered everywhere, but over time you start seeing shape and seeing more of what the pieces are supposed to make up. I don't know what all the pieces of my life are going to make but I hope at the end of my life me and Jesus and look back and see something beautiful. I can almost picture Him saying "Heather remember when I helped you find that piece?" He is that kind of God. He is amazing.

TRUE LOVE *Lyrics*

Come close listen to the story
About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers Broken Heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Search your heart you know you can't deny it
Come on, lose your life just so you can find it
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The Earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt The Fathers broken heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Now, Jesus is alive

Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Oh, He is alive
He rose again

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Come close listen to the story