I never know what I am going to write when I write a blog. Most of the time it is just a spontaneous outburst of words, but I kind of like that.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about Haiti. The Cholera outbreak has really put a crazy kink in an already BAD situation... I've been keeping up with updates of one of the Missionary Teams down there with our Church, Vineyard Columbus and every time I read the updates, I cry. I am moved to pray for them but also DO something for them. I am going to be planning some Benefit Shows for Haiti in the Early Spring, hoping to rally the good people of Columbus together to offer a hand of support to the people who are working tirelessly in Haiti. I know I can't go there personally, but it is cool to know I can empower someone to go in my stead. It's strange... even before all of the Earthquake stuff happened my heart has been heavy for Haiti. Almost like God was preparing me for what was going to happen and giving me a heart for the people of Haiti.
I had a dream the other night that I was in an old school Church building (with a steeple and 1 room that was the sanctuary) and outside there were 9 swirling, creepy, skinny tornadoes forming. I realized while in the dream that the 9 tornadoes signified 9 different difficulties or things that are swirling around in my life trying to destroy me. I stayed in the church with the feeling I was safe there and the tornadoes wouldn't come near it.
The dream is pretty right on with things happening in my life. There are PLENTY of crazy situations that Satan is trying to throw at us to try to destroy us (and a couple almost got to us) but one thing I know for sure. There is Safety and rest in my God! He is stronger and victorious every time! I know that the ONLY thing getting me through this difficult season of life is my faith and trust in God. There have been times that I've tried to do things on my own or rely on my own strengths and I realize things fall apart pretty quickly when I do that. I mean it is a DAILY struggle. A daily choice to choose to trust God. But it is soooo good when you do it!
I've been listening to Rich Nathan's sermons about every other morning just to kind of get me off on the right track. Ever since I started that, my anxiety has decreased loads. Interesting isn't it? When I fix my eyes on Jesus all I see is Jesus all day, but when I fix my eyes on every hard thing swirling about me, every hard thing is all I see all day.
Confrontation has been a weak point of mine all of my life. (I mean who really likes dealing with conflict?) But I am seeing God is really trying to grow this in me in this season. It's interesting to see the hand of God shaping me.. It isn't always comfortable, but I know it is good.