I've started work on a new music project called "songs for healing".
I wrote a few songs after I had a miscarriage on Easter Sunday 5 years ago, and more after the crazy life threatening pregnancy & delivery I had with my son Trust. I never thought anyone should ever hear the songs, that maybe they were just for me to process through my emotions.
Well, this isn't the case now.
I meet with a counselor to work through the depression, post traumatic stress and the emotional wreckage these past 5 years have brought.
One session I was talking with my counselor about the songs I've written during the healing process and she simply said "Heather, I need these songs! Do you have a recording of them anywhere?" I'm sure I looked flustered when I answered "Well, I have some rough recordings and could lay down the rest of the songs for you I suppose.." She went on to explain there was a woman she meets with that had still births and that she wanted to give my music to her. The next couple weeks I got all of my rough recordings of the songs together and gave the CD to her to give to the woman.
Weeks went by and I didn't hear anything and I thought nothing of it.
I went to see my counselor one day and she greeted me at the door and said, "heather, there is someone I want you to meet." She continued to say "this is the woman I gave your music to." Me and the woman locked eyes and both started to cry. We hugged and cried together because we knew what the other had suffered through and she thanked me.
This CD is super vulnerable and touches the deepest hurts in my heart and I love it. I think people need to know that it is ok to not be happy all the time. That it is ok to grieve when you've lost someone. It's ok to crumble and not have to put on an act that you are doing fine. It's ok to cry and it's not a weakness but a tool.
We tend to wear masks in front of each other and I think it's time to start taking them off and being real. No matter what you are going through, we should be able to bear with each other and not judge how far on the journey to recovery each person is at. Instead, embrace the place on the journey you are in and walk it out and grow through it. There is no sense in jumping ahead if you aren't ready yet.. Walk at a pace that is good for you, and walk it with Jesus.