By the time I take a shower and put myself together a bit, Trust is up from his morning nap. By the time I clean his bottles, do the laundry, take out the dirty diapers, make myself a meager lunch, Trust is up from his early afternoon nap. By the time I unload the dishwasher, make a bit of dinner Trust is up from his late afternoon/evening nap and Brett is home from work, then after a bit of time together, I am turned in for the night at 8.
Now I realize I am LUCKY. My kid loves his naps, meaning I am able to get a lot of important things accomplished and he is super happy and fun these days! The only problem is, I am having trouble making time for inspiration, for me. I am afraid that if I put off the dishes, laundry, etc.. chaos will ensue. I am not a clean freak by any means, but I don't like getting behind because then it piles up, and I get overwhelmed and I don't know where to start.
I have so many creative things I keep pushing to the corners of my mind! I have this short story idea that I got from a dream I had, songs ideas, painting projects, and loads of pics I want to print and hang.. People I want to meet with, places I want to go like parks, festivals, concerts, coffee shops, parties..
Sometimes I think I stick to the mundane because I am scared. I mean it is safe isn't it to just stay at home, stick to the schedule. I know what will happen, things are predictable. But when I go out or try something new right now, I just never know what will happen! I realize it will be like that for a while cause Trust is still young. Maybe the unpredictable is a good thing. I keep looking at the unpredictable as a bad thing and I need to flip my thinking a bit! Be more "by the seat of my pants" kind of girl like I used to be pre-baby!
I don't want to lose myself just because I have a baby. I want to be a more enhanced version of myself because I have a baby. My son Trust is absolutely wonderful. He brings out the best in me for sure! I could literally just stare at him all day and watch all of his different expressions and be happy. I just have to remind myself to do things for me too and it is okay!
In the coming weeks I want to try to be more spontaneous. Leave time for inspiration. Forget about the dishes, laundry and cleaning for 2 seconds and just let myself be creative, be me.
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